As caregivers of young children, we share a common objective - fostering a healthy relationship between the child and food. Our aim is for children to enjoy meals while ensuring they are eating enough to sustain the great work happening in their physical, mental and spiritual development. 

The eating patterns of young children can be perplexing. There may be days when they are voracious and seem eager to eat everything in sight, followed by days where they exhibit little interest in food, leaving adults to wonder how they are thriving on minimal intake. 

It's essential to assess food and nutrition patterns over the course of a week rather than focusing on daily fluctuations. This broader perspective can help alleviate anxiety surrounding food intake. Unlike adults, children typically do not eat for comfort; they eat when hungry and rarely overindulge for pleasure. They may stop eating, refuse food, engage in play, or even throw food – these behaviors indicate that they are satisfied and finished. Their appetites can resemble a rollercoaster, up and down, a little then a lot, fluctuating as they navigate their developing relationship with food. 

Young children do not require large quantities of food. Often, their needs are significantly less than what our adult perceptions dictate. For carbohydrate-dense foods, a serving should be approximately the size of their fist; for protein and fruit, about the size of their palm; and for vegetables, roughly two fistfuls. 

When considering portion sizes, it's helpful to serve the child a smaller portion than you think necessary, as you can always offer more food. It is common to inadvertently serve too much food, which can overwhelm a child and diminish their willingness to eat.  

For instance, children aged 1 to 6 years require approximately 14 grams of protein and between 1,000 to 1,600 calories per day, with 35% of those calories derived from fats. This should encompass three meals and two snacks throughout the day. 

When planning meals and snacks, the following guidelines can be beneficial: 

• 5 a Day: Fruits and vegetables
• 5 a Day: Starchy foods such as bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, and breakfast cereals
• 3 a Day: Milk, cheese, and yogurt (or calcium-enriched dairy-free alternatives)
• 2 a Day: Protein sources like meat, eggs, nuts, and legumes

Dairy and Milk Products: 2 - 3 servings daily where 1 serving equals:

• 1 cup of milk or yogurt
• 1.5 oz of natural cheese
• 1/3 cup of shredded cheese

Protein: 2 - 4 servings daily where 1 serving equals:

• 1 oz. of beef, poultry, fish, or tofu
• 1/4 cup of cooked beans
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon of peanut butter
• 1/2 oz. of nuts

Fruits: 1 - 1.5 servings daily where 1 serving equals:

• 1 cup of fruit
• 1 cup of 100% fruit juice
• 1/2 cup of dried fruit

Whole Grains & Starches: 3 - 5 servings daily where 1 serving equals:

• 1 slice of bread
• 1/2 cup of cooked cereal, rice, or pasta
• 1 cup of dry cereal

Vegetables: 1 - 1.5 servings daily where 1 serving equals:

• 1 cup of raw or cooked vegetables or vegetable juice
• 2 cups of raw leafy greens

Young children are adept at regulating their appetites according to their dietary needs provided this process is not disrupted by adult assumptions regarding their hunger levels. If we prevent children from experiencing hunger and self-regulating their appetites, the signals from their brains regarding hunger and fullness may become confused or muddled. 

Coercing, persuading, or incentivizing a child to take additional bites or finish their plate does not foster a healthy relationship with food and can lead to overconsumption beyond their actual requirements. This can create a cycle of overeating and an inability to recognize satiety. This also gives the child the message that they are eating to please someone else, rather than eating to nourish their body.  

It is essential to trust a child's responses to food and mealtimes. If a meal is refused, consider offering a smaller version of it during snack time instead of resorting to more appealing snacks that may encourage the child to skip meals. 

Furthermore, the language used around food in the home can be influential. Establish categories for food availability: 

Always Available Options

• These include foods high in protein and healthy fats, low in added sugars and carbohydrates, such as vegetables, fruits, cheese, lean meats, nuts, eggs, beans, and plain yogurt. These foods should always be accessible to the child. 

Sometimes Available Options

• These are enjoyable treats, such as sugary snacks, certain yogurts or bars, ice cream, cookies, and high-sodium snacks like potato chips. These items should be reserved for special occasions. 

Never Available Options:

• These consist of foods inappropriate for children under three, such as choking hazards like popcorn, as well as foods containing artificial dyes, high caffeine content, or alcohol. This category also includes any foods that the child is allergic to or may be allergic to. 

The concept of categorizing foods as "always, sometimes, or never" allows us to shift our perspective from merely labeling foods as healthy or unhealthy. It fosters an environment where children can develop a balanced relationship with food, understanding that some items are consumed regularly, others on special occasions, and some are entirely off-limits. 

Additional Helpful Tips: 

• Turn off the television during mealtimes.
• Avoid sugary beverages
• Involve your child in meal preparation -- tasks like cutting vegetables, cooking, setting the table, or serving family-style can help them connect with the food being offered.
• Avoid using food as a bribe, reward, or punishment.
• Model healthy eating behaviors by dining with your child, showcasing enjoyment of food and proper dining etiquette.

This is not an exhaustive list; there are numerous ways to encourage a child's appreciation for food and mealtimes. For further support and information on feeding young children, consider exploring the resources listed below. 

Learn More:

About Hala Kahiki

Designed for children 18 months – 6 years, Hala Kahiki is the first and only authentic Montessori school on Lāna’i.  Under the guiding influence of specially trained teachers, children work with multi-sensorial materials to help them learn to think critically and become well-rounded global citizens.  We would love to partner with you to give your children the best-possible early childhood education; please let us know how we can help you achieve your goals for your child.