As parents of young children in Lāna’i, Hawaii, we are privileged to be raising children in one of the most tranquil, close-knit communities in the world. At the heart of this special place is the opportunity to nurture your child’s growth in a way that respects their individuality, fosters independence, and builds a love for learning. 

As Montessori educators and parents, we understand the importance of the environment and guidance we provide for our young children. We have put together a list of six essential things every young child needs from the adults in their lives to thrive—especially in a Montessori setting. 

Here’s a closer look at what these needs are and how you can support your child on their journey.

1. To Be Observed

Children, particularly in the early years of their lives, are naturally curious and constantly learning through their interactions with the world. One of the most essential things a child needs from an adult is to be observed. In Montessori philosophy, observation is a core practice. By carefully observing your child’s behaviors, interests, and developmental milestones, you can gain insights into their needs and strengths.

As parents and caregivers, take the time to watch the child without intervening immediately. This allows you to understand their emotional and physical states, helping you meet them where they are, whether that’s providing support, a challenge, or space. The ability to simply be seen validates your child’s experiences and fosters a sense of trust and self-confidence.

2. Freedom Within Limits

Children thrive when they have the freedom to explore, express, and make choices. However, it’s important that this freedom comes with clear and consistent boundaries. Freedom within limits means allowing your child to engage in their environment and make choices—whether that’s what to wear, what activity to pursue, or where to explore—while also ensuring that there are guidelines in place to help them understand the world around them.

In a Montessori setting, the environment is carefully crafted to offer children freedom to engage with materials and experiences that promote learning. At home, you can support this by setting safe and consistent limits that encourage your child to act independently, while also guiding them to respect their surroundings and others.

3. Opportunities for Maximum Effort

One of the core principles of Montessori is to allow children the opportunity to exert maximum effort. Young children naturally seek out challenges and enjoy mastering new skills. Providing opportunities for your child to engage in activities that require focus, effort, and perseverance—such as dressing themselves, cleaning up after an activity, carrying something very heavy—gives them a sense of accomplishment. This “maximum effort” encourages self-discipline and resilience, while also nurturing their growing sense of competence. 

As a parent, you can facilitate this by offering a variety of tasks that are both achievable and challenging, providing a balance between guidance and space for them to solve problems on their own.

4. Opportunities to Care for Themselves, Others, and the Environment

Children are innately compassionate and, as they grow, they need opportunities to develop responsibility for themselves, others, and the environment around them. Montessori education places a strong emphasis on practical life skills—activities like sweeping, washing dishes, or preparing meals—that promote self-care and the development of independence.

Additionally, children benefit from learning how to care for others. Simple acts like helping a friend, comforting a peer, or even caring for family pets can instill a deep sense of empathy. Children also learn responsibility through their environment, whether that means tending to a garden, cleaning up after play, or organizing their belongings. 

Encourage your child to care for their surroundings and community, making them feel valued and connected to the world they inhabit.

5. Connection

Children are hardwired for connection, and they need their adult caregivers to be fully present with them. Connection doesn’t simply mean being physically nearby; it’s about attunement—being emotionally aware and responsive to your child’s needs. Whether they are feeling excited, frustrated, tired, or curious, children need adults who are tuned in and able to provide the comfort, encouragement, and reassurance they need in those moments.

In Montessori, the connection between child and adult is grounded in respect and understanding. By truly listening to your child, maintaining eye contact, and providing positive affirmations, you strengthen the emotional bond that is essential to their social and emotional development.

6. Time

In today’s fast-paced world, time is often one of the most precious resources we have. But when it comes to young children, time is essential to their development. Children need time to explore, to reflect, to process, and to simply be. Rushing through activities or expecting quick results can impede a child’s natural development.

In a Montessori setting, children are allowed to spend long periods of time focused on a task, fully engaging with materials without interruption. At home, this can be mirrored by allowing your child to have uninterrupted blocks of time to pursue their interests, whether it’s playing outside in Lāna’i’s beautiful nature, creating art, or diving into imaginative play.

The slower pace and respect for a child’s need for time helps foster patience, creativity, and a deep sense of connection with their surroundings.

As parents in Lana’i, you have the unique opportunity to foster an environment that values connection, independence, and growth. By giving your child the six essential things they need—to be observed, freedom within limits, opportunities for maximum effort, opportunities to care for themselves, others, and the environment, connection, and time—you are supporting them to develop into confident, capable, and compassionate individuals.

The beauty of Montessori education is that it allows children to follow their own path while being guided by respectful and thoughtful adults. Embrace the process, trust the rhythm of your child’s development, and know that, in nurturing their needs, you are giving them the greatest gift of all: a lifelong love of learning.

Montessori is not just an educational method—it’s a mindset that respects the child’s individual needs, interests, and pace. Montessori isn’t just for schools—it’s a mindset and an approach that can be woven seamlessly into the fabric of home life. 

“To assist a child we must provide them with an environment which will enable them to develop freely.”

Maria Montessori

To Learn More:

About Hala Kahiki

Designed for children 18 months – 6 years, Hala Kahiki is the first and only authentic Montessori school on Lāna’i.  Under the guiding influence of specially trained teachers, children work with multi-sensorial materials to help them learn to think critically and become well-rounded global citizens.  We would love to partner with you to give your children the best-possible early childhood education; please let us know how we can help you achieve your goals for your child.